Point of confusion

3/14/2010

One afternoon, I came face to face with a girl, who acts so carelessly and almost frivolously with a guy by her side. She was happy, care-free and nothing seemed to bring her down. She talked to the guy by her side and occasionally fidgeted with her cell phone.  Her focus obviously was being diverted with her texting someone in her cell phone, but the guy by her side paid no attention to that. He seemed to be kind and patient with her, gazing at her loveliness and charm with no mingled malice. It was totally obvious that the guy loves her so much. Yet that girl acted as if nothing was more important in the world than her cell phone. They walked around the mall, peeking through the stores here and there. He was occasionally wrapping his hand around hers while they walked. And finally they stopped by a store to get a couple of ice cream. They sat down, chatted a little and laughed a little. Yet the girl was still being diverted with the chirping of her phone and the guy patiently continued to converse with her. In a moment, they stood up and decided to head home. The guy grabbed her hand and gently led her up the vehicle before heading to a different route. The girl, on the other hand, went on texting someone on her phone, smiling and looking around, obviously waiting for something – or someone. Then a frowned came to her face and she waited for the vehicle to zoom on.

Back in her house, she was still texting. This time. she wasn’t smiling anymore. She seemed confused and unable to speak or think straight. She seemed to be at a lost of words to say to her mother and sister but she seemed to be dying to talk to someone else. Something was confusing her. Something was absolutely bothering her. But what? Was it the consequence of the way she acted with her guy? Or maybe it was about something she read on her cell phone sent to her by someone?

She went up to her room and sat down on her bed. Perplexed by her own thoughts, she flicked on her laptop and search for something. I took a peek and found that she was downloading a popular book. But why? That’s weird. She could have opened her Facebook account first. Something must be totally bothering her.

I finally had the courage to ask what and why. She vented her feelings almost immediately. She said she had been absolutely challenged by the way the two most important persons in her life act around her. They have different backgrounds, different interpersonal approach but the way they handle people was totally impressing and indirectly the same. She said she always wanted to be like them. She wanted to know what they have in their skill and apply it to her own approach in life. She said the reason why she was confused because the guy she was texting was mad again and he said it was her fault – again. He said that she hadn’t changed a bit and  that she was the same girl he broke up with years ago. She said that he simply wanted to teach her a lesson but she could never understand why he was doing it the way he does – getting mad at her and acting as if everything she does affects him so much.  She said he simply wants the best for her and nothing else.

But she was still confused. Mixed emotions was showing on her face when she said that she was definitely glad that someone would still stand up and do things like that just to make her realize the things she ought to learn. But at the same time, she was sad that he was mad again and all because she forgot how she ought to act. On the other hand, if the ‘guy beside her’ found out about this – that she was texting her ex and still having a close bond with him – she didn’t know how he would react. Both of these guys had been using the principles of that book to her and to other people they deal with. So that was why she wanted to find out what made those guys act the way they act.  She also said that she was naturally a bashful girl, almost to the point of shying away from people, refusing to deal personally with others. She said she wanted to change and be like those two guys in her life, but was so unsure of what tactics to use and what first step to take.

She leaned back against the sofa and smiled. She lifted her cellphone and texted again.

Realizing that I’ve got my answers, I leaned back. I turned my head around and noticed something - that girl - was me.

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